The link below s my gofundme! Past few weeks have been scary and anything helps.



Here is my link. Click her to help! Anything helps!



Date Night

Starting a new blog!!!

My Blog

Been Over a year since I decided to change my life!

When I started this blog I was going through deciding to not put my son up for adoption. I know a lot of people are wondering how things are going.

It’s been a year and 5 months since my son Ryder was born. He’s getting so big and is such a happy baby. I actually live with his father, who I was convinced with the attorney and everyone involved that it was in Ryder’s best interest because his dad would never be in his life. Now how funny is that because he lives with us and is an awesome man and father to both my children. I dont regret my choice in keeping him and I believe that things happen for a reason. I believe that going through this made me realize what is important in life.

I am actually thinking of starting a book about this, so if anyone has any ideas on how to get started please let me know. We are all happy and healthy and want to thank everyone who made it possible for the past year to exist. Without everyone involved Ryder may still be there with the PAP and not with us.

IMG_3655 IMG_2593 IMG_2587 IMG_3228 IMG_3302 IMG_3643

Any single mom going to school?

I have to say this because in 28 years I have never me such a cold and heartless teacher. I go to Kaplan, which is a great school, except this teacher will call her Dr. Q, from Texas. She is a professor at a University. Yes, thats right someone let’s her work at another college. I dont know what her problem was but I had third degree lacerations, among other mesical issues. I had matisis too, whick means your milk ducts clog and my boobs were huge. Being a women shoukd understand. She was a horrible teacher. In fact countless students are emailing about her. She does not care if we succed. She grades horrible and given i reported her, she purposely faiked me. Students are banning together and she shoukd not work in a college.

The worst is over…

The adoption agency forgets to tell you that if you decide not to place the hell you have to go through to prove that your child exists. I have had to prove now for weeks that my son exists and I find it hard to believe that a stranger can walk out of the hospital with a baby but the mother has to prove he exists.

I still believe he was meant to disappear. I will never doubt that because I have had to go high up in the chain to speak to people about finding his records and a record of him. Now with him being 6 weeks this weekend I have to go to social security office with him and show them I have him.

These people are sick and I truly know its worth the fight. One day he will thank me for not letting him be adopted and I know that this is only temporary. Adoption is evil and needs to be changed…

Nothing is impossible…

When every day you have to fight to keep your babies together and when there is so much ugliness around you, I will remember that I fought it. That because I fought so hard that nothing else will be impossible..


Not very many know this but I was adopted.

Until I was in my 20’s I had no clue I was adopted. It wasn’t until I received a message on Myspace telling me that my parents are not my parents and I was lied to my whole life.

I always thought it was strange because I have light eyes and hair. My life changed when I found out. I was adopted by family of my biological father and grew up knowing my bio dad and siblings but thought they were uncles and cousins.

I was seriously neglected as a child. My bio father made the choice to save me because he could not parent as well as my bio mom. I don’t know that I will ever know the whole story and I am fine with that.

When I found out it was before my bio mom was to go to jail again and I now know it was for selfish reasons. I admit for awhile I wanted to get to know her because I felt I had ties wit her and wanted to know my brothers as well as where I came from.

4 years later I refuse to talk to her. I am sure it breaks her heart and I do empathize with that but to me contacting me like she did was for selfish reasons. I still talk to my brother and always will. I am sure one day I will find a way to forgive her but she did a few other things as well. She claimed I was stolen and other things which is beyond false. She lost me to CPS. Had many chances to clean her act up and quit doing drugs. I had a great life and from what I hear they didn’t.

My situation is different because I had to go some where. I still suffer with emotional trauma but more from not knowing my whole life. When I found out I tried to slit my wrists because I felt betrayed.

In about a year I had my daughter and made her a priority. SHe is mine and despite what has happened to me I have had to learn to deal with it. I see things from my parents and I do notice the difference. I am treated different and that is fine. I have my kids and I will never do that. I don’t even blame them.

My letter to the attorney.

——-Original Message——-


From: K

Date: 12/31/2012 7:06:48 AM


Subject: Good Morning!!


                                                                                                                                                        December 31, 2012





                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Las Vegas,


, Esq.



Los Angeles, CA 




                Re:         M and Your Offices




Dear Mr. R




                This is in response to your letter of December 24, 2012.  As you know, I regained custody of my son, R, from M on Sunday, December 22, 2012, and I am not going forward with an adoption of any sort.  After the way she treated me in the hospital and after discovering that she had not even given him the name we agreed upon, I became deeply concerned about my son’s well-being and sought out assistance and support to find a way to raise him myself.  I was fortunate enough to locate an extensive network of advocates to help me, as well as authorities on the impact of adoption on a baby, and I realized that my son needed me as much as I need him.  R is doing extremely well, rarely cries, and is already smiling at me and his sister. I am even more certain that I am making the right decision by raising him.  I know that you and M would not want a baby to be permanently separated from his mother unless there was truly no other option, and I appreciate your and her understanding of my decision.




                As to your request that I pay back $19,593.62 in “adoption-related expenses” that M “advanced,” I am baffled by this request.  First, as you must know, if I had access to funds like that, I would not have been considering adoption in the first place.  On a more significant point, though, the nominal assistance that M provided to me did not even begin to approach the amount of money you are requesting.  I have absolutely no idea on what basis you or she calculated this number.  My belief is that the majority of this amount constitutes legal fees paid to you, but I would think that, given how many babies you are paid to separate from their mothers each year, you would be willing to apply those funds toward a future adoption opportunity for her.


D. R, Esq.


December 31, 2012


Page 2




                 Finally, on a more troubling note, one of my advocates has informed me that California Family Code § 8800(h) states the following:




The attorney retained by or representing the prospective adoptive parents shall inform the prospective adoptive parents in writing that the birth parent or parents can revoke consent to the adoption pursuant to Section 8814.5 and that any moneys expended in negotiations or proceedings in connection with the child’s adoption are not reimbursable. The prospective adoptive parents shall sign a statement to indicate their understanding of this information.




(Emphasis added.)




                In light of this statute’s clear language, you have absolutely no basis for pressuring me into providing any funds to you or to M.  Your letter appears, instead, to be an unfounded attempt to intimidate me into changing my mind about keeping R, which I believe constitutes a violation of the Rules of Professional Conduct for attorneys.




                However, my focus needs to be on providing the best life possible for my children, and all I want to do is put the adoption-related chapter of my life behind me.  I appreciate M  for settling the issue related to his medical and contacting my father. With being greeted by six of her dearest friends I wasn’t paying too much attention. No further contact will be needed from myself or any family members. Please respond to this letter with confirmation that you are closing my file and will not be contacting me in the future for any reason.










Got a response!!!

The baby broker I mean laywer sent me a response yesterday. He stated that he will be closing my file and will no longer contact me. I can now close one chapter of our lives and start the New Year without as much drama.

If it wasnt for the support from WS Birth mom i would have never came in contact with someone who could write a response for me. I am greatful for all of these new people in my life. Later on I will be posting all the emails, so people can get an idea of what scum these people are.

Previous Older Entries